Living Life Alone

Waking up every morning implementing the same routine. Going to school never anticipating a conversation with a friend because the truth is you don't have any. Walking alone in the halls with earphones in your ears because you prefer not to hear the world. People look at you and they say you're weird. Some even feel bad for you. You seem not to care because you don't even notice them. You're living in your own world. However, deep inside you're longing for intimacy but too afraid of getting hurt. You've been hurt many times before and you promised yourself it won't happen again. All those tears you cried wondering why you're so messed up. Your past haunts you so you keep reliving it. You think people are the problem; you think they are incessantly contemplating insidious schemes to hurt you. You have become quite paranoid; you don't trust anybody anymore. Trying to figure out what's wrong with you but you lack the will to change. You want to be happy but keep acting the same. You want to be beautiful but you dress in rags. You want to be loved but you treat people like they don't mean a thing. You always want to be left alone. Sometimes you think you're going crazy; you research the symptoms and you got a list of possible diseases and phobias to prove your hypothesis. You got a brilliant but discombobulated mind. Sometimes its quite scary and demented. You hate guys because they always call you ugly now you think every guy is a jerk. You hate girls because they initiate drama. Deep down you want to be loved but you don't want to be humiliated or hurt....again. Your mother says you need therapy. You think being miserable makes you stronger because you never let anybody get close so they could never hurt you. You always got those earphones in your ears, living in your own world of music and misery. If there is a cure its probably a stack of drugs so therefore you prefer to suffer in your solitary existence. It's been a long time since you've been sincere about how you feel and you cry every night about the same thing. You don't want to hurt; you don't want to be alone but you think its for the best. Someones reaching out for you but you prefer to fall into the dark abyss. Cleared out all the reality from your mind and living life alone. Your heart died a long time ago; there's no empathy. Living life alone, speechless, and miserable.