Well, today is my 20Th birthday. I got my hair colored this morning for the first time. I always wanted to color my hair, but never actually implemented that action until now. Now that I have its like blah. I got it out my system. I went from dark brown to medium golden brown but I see no difference. The stylist said it would get lighter after I wash it a few times. Anyway in about 2 hours I have to go to work; yeah I'm working on my birthday. Its suppose to rain today and I hope it doesn't.
It's my birthday but I just don't feel so great. My happy and miserable emotions are at war because I don't know how to feel today. Turning 20 years old is not a big deal or is it? I don't know. I'm here in my room listening to "I wonder", by Reynard Silva and contemplating what will happen today. I mean music is my life; I can't live without it. I guess now that I'm a year older I should try to be more mature and start my healing process.
This birthday is different because I don't want anything and I'm miserable on my birthday. I think I'm miserable because I'm always miserable. Today my hair is down and I got bangs! I never let my hair down so this is big! I wonder what people's faces will look like when they see me today.
I feel even weirder today. I feel so lonely and sad. I need a friend. Next week school starts again (I've been in spring break) so I'm happy about that. I'm mostly in the shadows when it comes to the fun experiences of college because I have no friends. Anyway back to my birthday, its just gloomy outside. They say its suppose to rain today and I'm not looking forward to that. When I come back from work I'm going to eat my cookies and cream ice cream and watch Reaper on CW11. I love Reaper! It's such a great show.
Today it seems like I'm waiting-hoping for something extraordinary to happen, but today I'm feeling a lot of things. Hey, that's me for ya; I'm so weird.
My grandma is suppose to call me today-she always calls me on my birthday but I think I'll be at work when she calls.
Happy Birthday to me....Solitary. :(
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